Dear Audrey, June, and Rita...

"Audrey, I won't live another year without you", are the words he uttered from his mouth. The man was so desperate for your love when it came down to losing you that he honestly could not fathom that he could survive 365 more days without you by his side. Yet, when he had your love all to himself, the booze and the pills and the warmth of other women lured him away every time.

Audrey, how do you love a man like that?

 

 

 

When he crawled deep in to Nickajack Cave and had no intention of ever coming out... When Johnny would pass out before shows, after shows... and fall down in a drunken stupor during shows... When you watched him kill himself slowly for years and put up with the outbursts and insanity... Tell me, June- what made you decide that you could love that man through it all?

June, how do you save a man like that?

 

 

 

 

He finally put that bottle down just as you had asked him to for years. Of course, by the time he did that, you had no idea who sober Kris was. You were living with a stranger and it was confusing because- it's what you wanted, right? You wanted his eyes more clear... you received exactly what you had wished and hoped for. But it wasn't at all what you had hoped for. You knew things would never be the same even though you loved him with your whole heart.

 

You have to tell me, Rita- how do you let go of a man like that?

 

 



 

If I could sit these three down, I know they'd understand. They could tell me what to do. I'm no Audrey or June or Rita. I'm not as strong. Not nearly as sturdy. But maybe if I had spoken to Audrey, she could have told me what not to do. If I could have lunch with June, she could have helped me to be more firm and pointed me down the path of what I should do. And to sit down with Rita and have her tell me where to go from here- how to rebuild with dignity and still love that man, but maintain the ability to just walk away- I think that's what I could use more than anything.

"Like a bird on a wire

Like a drunk midnight choir

I have tried in my way to be free."