Friday, December 30, 2011

what do i DO???

"what do you DO all day??"
I hear this question often.... ESPECIALLY from the self-proclaimed "Big Dog" (he hates when I start it with "self-proclaimed"... which is why I do. well, that and the fact that it's true... it really is self-proclaimed...) He comes home from work around 4 and if the house is out of order in the least (and to be completely honest- it usually is) he wants to know what I've been doing all day that has prevented me from having a tidy home & dinner on the table when he makes his grand entrance (at 4 in the afternoon. seriously.)... and, usually, I just point to my 15 month old & say "THAT. That's what I've been "doing all day"." to which he rolls his eyes. He honestly thinks he can do what I do. Now, don't get me wrong... I wouldn't trade this for the world. I *love* staying at home with my son. I love getting to play with him and teach him and love on him.... I love not having to sit in a boring office all day or talk to people that I don't like all day. I get to be with my baby. And I like him. What I don't like is having to ask for gas money or rely on friends to pay for my movie ticket if they want to hang out. That part blows. But I think that is more of a character flaw on his part and not really a representation of my "lack of employment". I'm employed, alright. By Braydon. Braydon Fisher, Inc. And I work lots and lots of overtime with no pay. But, again- not complaining. Just stating. So, for any of you who see me on Facebook alllll day or notice the 500 things I "pin" a day on Pinterest and think that I don't do anything but sit on the computer all day... I'll fill you in on just another day in the life of ME.

I woke up around 7:15 this morning, to the sounds of MonkeyMan coming through the monitor. (Let me preface this by saying that last night, when Brandon got in from a job in Columbus at 9:30, he wanted to wake Braydon up to play and I firmly told him that if he wanted to play with him I would be happy to let him get up with him in the morning and play all he wanted... and he said that he would. Of course, he decided that sleep sounded better once the time actually came...) So, I rub my eyes, turn the monitor off, throw on a pair of old, 5 sizes too large, grey sweatpants, a hoodie and my uggs and make the trek down the hallway into my little boy's room. He has (as usual) thrown every blanket out of his crib, as well as his pillow. (yes, my 1 year old has a full-sized pillow in his crib. don't ask me why.) He has peed through his diaper, so everything in his crib (including the baby, himself) is wet. So, I strip him down, throw all of the wetness into the wash, wipe him down with a warm, soapy rag, get him dressed (usually in another pair of footie pajamas if we aren't going anywhere... why not be comfy?) and take him to the bedroom to see his Daddy (who is still sound asleep). Daddy plays with him for all of 2 minutes before hopping in the shower, then gets dressed and heads out to work (not before complaining that he has no clean jeans... I mean, what do I do all day that keeps me from washing his jeans?? I explain that he had jeans in the armoire so I assumed he had plenty & that if those don't fit he needs to get rid of them because I have no way of knowing that he is out of clean pants for work.). While Daddy is in the shower, we are chilling out in the bed watching Mickey Mouse & once that episode is over, I put Baby Boo in his high chair & make him some cinnamon toast & chocolate milk (ovaltine... so yummy!!). Daddy leaves for work. While Bray eats his toast (and watches more Mickey) I fix a cup of coffee and sit at the computer to check Facebook/Pinterest. I thank my Mommy for the *wonderful* Christmas presents she sent with my brother yesterday (much-needed Tupperware & an owl hat for Braydon & a Pooh book) and change my profile picture... random FB stuff until Bray is done. Then I get him down, clean him up and crawl around on the floor and play "chase" with him until he is exhausted (usually only another 30 minutes or so), then I put him down for a nap. (Also while he was watching Mickey & eating toast I dried his bedding & put it back on his bed) While he takes a nap, I browse Pinterest for some inspiration for lunch using whatever I have on hand. I see some spaghetti thing with cream cheese & I remember that I have some in the fridge. I check the date on the cream cheese & it says  12/07/11... I wonder if that's the sell by date or the use by date??? Normally I am picky about "expired" foods... but it looks fine, smells fine & the tiny bit that I tasted seemed fine... so I do what any woman in my shoes would do (broke, desperate shoes)... I Googled it. Google said it was fine. So, I take the left-over spaghetti sauce out of the freezer, reheat it, add the cream cheese, cook the pasta, add it... DELISH!!! I eat a quick bowl before Braydon wakes up from his nap (musta smelled the yumminess coming from the kitchen...). I fix his bowl before grabbing him out of bed, change his "di-di", and put him in his high chair to feed himself (we're still working on this)... I take a couple of pictures of his royal cuteness eating lunch & upload to facebook (of course) and when he's almost done eating, he turns up his sippy cup and somehow pours tea all over himself & the floor. So, out of the highchair he comes. I take off his clothes and his diaper where he stands to prevent getting sticky tea all over the house and discover that he has pooped. Why didn't I smell that?? Why didn't he fuss? Who knows? Doesn't matter now. I wipe his bottom, take the poopy (still not stinky) diaper to the big trashcan outside) and put the little naked baby in the tub. Where he poops. Again. So, I take him out of the tub & put him on the potty where he is still pooping... when he's done, I close the lid & tell him to flush, which he does. I go into the laundry room to get the bleach so I can sanitize our pooped in tub & when I get back to the bathroom, the toilet is overflowing!!!! WHA???!!! I don't know how it happened. I don't know why it happened. All I know is that there was tiny baby poop floating at the tip-top  of my toilet surrounded by brown yucky water and my baby had backed up against the sink, probably thinking he was in trouble. He pointed to the toilet and said "top..." (meaning "stop") the toilet didn't listen. Not knowing what to do, I washed baby off in the sink, took him to the living room where I cleaned the high chair & strapped him back in it to watch Mickey so I could get to work in that bathroom. First I tried the plunger. No luck. I put on gloves and went to digging in the nastiness that was my toilet. No luck. All I can think is that he maybe put a toy in there and tried to flush & it's now stuck. I don't know. But, out of desperation, I grabbed an old tea pitcher and got every bit of water that I could out of the bowl & poured it out. Filled with Bleach. Flushed (still clogged.). Removed water AGAIN. Poured a little more bleach and closed the lid. My plan is that Brandon will come home and use it & think he clogged it. Then Braydon & I won't be in trouble. Good plan, I think. Anyway. So, once that is done, I return to the living room to clean up Bray's lunch mess. I'm feeling nauseated. Maybe from my lack of plumbing skills. Who knows. But, I put a t-shirt on my naked child who then grabs a candy cane off of the tree that is still in my living room... I'm too tired to fight him on it. I open it, he smiles and runs off. I sit down at the computer knowing full well what I want to write about today. That's when I see it... the clock in the bottom right corner of my monitor... it's only 1:30. ONE THIRTY??!!!! What the HELL??? I'm exhausted and still have another 4 or so hours of solo-duty (it's Friday. Daddy has to pay his workers.).... I need a nap and the baby is now covered in candy cane.

Friday, December 2, 2011

see, what had happened was....

I had no idea what to write about this morning. Only knew that I was way bummed yesterday that I didn't write at all after I had promised myself the day before that I would write every day... Yeah, stick-to-it-iveness is not at the top of the list of my character traits. I give up rather easily. Not so much that I get discouraged. Maybe it's a lack of caring. I just don't care enough to make stuff happen. Believe me, if I want something bad enough.. I'll MAKE it happen. Nah. That's not true either. I'm just kind of (really) lazy. I have my own way of doing things and I like it that way and I feel like the rest of the world should just accept that and accommodate. Truth. Anyway. As I was saying... I didn't know what to write about. So, I decided to pick out a few of my favorite photos and give you the story behind them. Why? Is it because I think you'll really care? Nahhhh... it's because I care. What if I get old one day and I forget stuff? That would suck. (Forgetting stuff, that is. Not the getting old. That part is better than the alternative, which would be NOT getting old which would mean either a) finding the fountain of youth -which I'm certain is not in Valdosta, where I shall remain for the rest of my years- or b) death. And I think death would suck, although I'm sure I'll find out eventually...) Man I'm good at rambling. Anywho. On to the show....

 This, my dear friends, was (according to the time stamp from the fancy 35mm camera) was taken in December 1995, which may or may not be accurate, as those of you who grew up in this era (as I'm fairly sure you all did) will remember. However, looking the photo, I'm pretty sure that's right. There's little old me in the top left. I took ballet for MANY years with Debbie Ramer at my church. At that time we (the church) were known as Church of the King, but it's now Christ the King Episcopal in downtown Valdosta (shout out to my church family!!) Pretty sure our ballet class was referred to as Children of the King... but I could be wrong about that. In this picture we have me, random girl whose name I forgot, Becca Thorne, Carole Mercer, Kelly (??), MaryWells Brown (now Smith), Aubrae (sp?), Sarah Suggs, Allison Ziegler (now Anderson), Jenna Ramer, and Denah Gupton (I think she's married now, as well, but I'm not sure of her married name & I could be totally wrong about that). Speaking of Denah, this reminds me of Vacation Bible School one year when *random person talking to all of the kids on the last night* asked for volunteers to answer questions. Of course, I volunteered, but didn't get called on. Instead *random person* called on Denah and her little sister Sabrina and asked one to count the hairs on her sister's head. Several minutes later, he came back and asked *pick a sister* how many hairs there were, to which she replied "One hundred." Of course, the adults and older kids laughed and the Gupton girls were given a ginormous box of Whoppers for their participation and *random person* went on to speak about how God knows even the number of hairs on our head, but all of his talking was lost on me... WHOPPERS??! I liked Whoppers, too. (I really wasn't sure if I did, but that wasn't the point. I wanted the candy.) So, I was pretty upset. I think I've held on to this grudge for close to 20 years now... So, I guess it's time to let go. Denah & Sabrina Gupton... wherever you are... I forgive you for being so darned cute. And for getting the Whoppers. Amen.
This was taken at one of my favorite places on Earth- Lowndes Middle School. No, I'm not exaggerating or joking in the least. I *loved* LMS. Middle School was one of the happiest, most fun times in my life and if I could go back *right now*, I would. Some of my favorite people in the world (teachers: Mr. Wildes aka Mr. Fish, Ms. Hicks -at the time-, Mrs. Guest, Mr. Todd -even though I was never in band-, and my favorite "office ladies" in the world- Mrs. Hardesty and Mrs. Peters!!!) I met at LMS.
In this particular picture, we have (L-R) Tanya Williams, Keri Browning, *me*, Meghan Brantley, and Leslie Chatelain. However, my BEST friends at that time were, of course, JG O'Connor, Crystal Criswell, Jessica Haskin, and Dana Brantley, JoJo Duvall (back when he would let people call him JoooooooJooooooo)... and my boyfriend, Josh Bennett. This year we "broke up" a couple of times and I "dated" Brent Fletcher for a while. Who dumped me. Then I dated Jeb Dasher. Then he dumped me. Then I'm pretty sure I dated Lee Montague and I'm fairly certain that he dumped me as well. Man, this was a rough year... ;) It's okay. I made it through. Oh- and one more thing about this time in my life--- Dana and I used to listen to Meredith Brooks' song "Bitch" riding in her daddy's truck on the way to the movies and would always turn the volume down really quick when she said "bitch" then right back up. Thought that was pretty funny. You don't have to laugh if you don't want to. Oh yeah, and that fancy blue button down shirt came from WalMart. And I'm pretty sure I was wearing a padded bra and *still* didn't have boobs. Eh. I was a late bloomer. 


Ugh. See that lovely black eye?? That was courtesy of JG O'Connor and Brandon Howell. My grandmother was *livid*. We were "wrastlin'" on JG's trampoline, my knee hit my eye & blacked it out 2 days before a pageant. LUCKILY, I had won the year before so all I had to do was crown the next winner and walk. No competing. But, that black eye got a LOT worse and stuck around for what seemed like the rest of the school year. Surely, it was months. And, staying true to themselves, JG and Brandon made fun of me about it until... well, they still make fun of me about that. And "I've never done that before"... and numerous other things. 


**big smiles**  this is my heart. Bugga was tan. That amazes me. She's a lot like her mama in that she is completely content staying inside and reading or playing on the computer... But, she'll get outside and fish or get dirty when she wants to. It's just rare that the kid spends enough time in the UV rays to get any color. :) Carter, on the other hand, would live outside with the frogs if you let him. These kids are so different, but so predictable. This picture was taken about 2 years ago at Wild Adventures. We had season passes so we went all the time. Believe it or not, this was taken in October. (and those of you who live or have lived in Valdosta definitely believe it.) My baby needed a glob of sunscreen on his nose in OCTOBER. Pretty sure there was a blizzard somewhere in upstate New York during this same time. (that was a joke. I have no idea what the weather was like ANYWHERE else.) Anywho. I just love this picture.




Another one of my favorite people EVER. Derek Nowell. I *love* this man. We first met when we were in middle school. His daddy lived across 41 from us, and Derek and my younger brother were friends so they would ride their bikes together. I had the biggest crush on Derek back then and, eventually, we became boyfriend/girlfriend... even though I can't think that we ever really spoke. I also don't believe we ever broke up so technically....
Anyway. The top picture was, obviously, taken at the Plowboy Dance at Lowndes High in 1998. I was 15. And I needed to eat a cheeseburger, apparently. The second photo was taken after his sister, and my "lover", Christina's wedding rehearsal. Good times. The rehearsal was great... the wedding was great.. the reception was amazing... the  after party at Creekside was a blast... but as for what happened after all of that... You'll have to read my book. (drama, drama, drama...) :)



Stinka's wedding day. :) I love this because
a) Stinka is so pretty and looks so happy!!! and
b) Check out my legs!! (I'm the one on her left.. our arms are touching because we love eachother)
Okay, so maybe her wedding photo shouldn't be about me... but I like to think that it's one of my better pictures ever in life (who could blame a groomsman or two... or three... for hittin' on me??! Geez. Just kidding. kind of...)

 My second family.
I love this picture, despite my bloatedness. I don't even care. This picture contains some of my favorite people in the world all gathered to celebrate another of my favorite people in the world- my JJ. It was her 40th birthday, so her husband and I decided to throw her a surprise birthday dinner at Mom & Dads. Bo & Jenni were actually on time, which was amazing. J's children, Randa and Reese came. Bobbie and Zack Morris (or is that her husband, Dean??) were there, as well as Brandy & Steven Stone and the Hedgecock boys. :) It was great til Brandon got stupid (which was fairly early in the night...), but all in all- a wonderful night!!! I love my friends.


HOW hot are my friends??? Seriously.
 L-R: (using Facebook names, here, people) Rosanne Blanchett Lewis, Jenni Sears, Bobbie Black Vinson, Crystal Bennett, Jennifer Beene Jones (heehee, JJ), *me*, Brandy Stone
I adore these ladies and we always have such a great time when any of us are together. This was taken at Mori after our first "official" Girls Night. I can't tell you how much we laughed, or that I made the waitress seriously uncomfortable (wha?? I just asked her if she liked me... not my fault that she didn't know how to answer it...) Anyway. I miss our Girls Nights. Ha. I actually poked out my bottom lip when I typed that (it's still out... I think I'm too lazy to put in back in. Real talk.)


Need I say more?? (and, Crissy Megow, notice the O's on the floor as opposed to Jacks. We had not yet explored the world of Jacks.) :)

MMMk, well I hope you weren't entirely bored by this post. And if you were, I don't care so much... because you don't HAVE to read it. Okay, I'm lying. I do care. I really do. So, please, just tell me that you love it... and me. :)

















Wednesday, November 30, 2011

...kinda like Anne Frank... only not Jewish... okay, Nothing like Anne Frank.

It's funny, to me. I've had blogs before. I've kept a journal from the moment I knew how to draw. As far as I was concerned, I didn't need words to express myself. Pictures could do that for me. (Hilarious, now. Considering that my words get used quite often.) So, I have another blog. wherethenoiseis.blogspot.com I use that one to write primarily about my children. But, in the famous words of Toby Keith- I wanna talk about ME.
I wonder how much of what we write gets censored. I think I always assumed that someday my journals would be published (like Anne Frank) and I could only write what I would want other people reading. That's kind of what we do with Facebook, right? I mean, I read status updates and see people that I know personally living seemingly perfect lives. Their children are happy and healthy. They are overwhelmingly in love with their "boo" (which, for the record, is a term of endearment that I find more annoying than endearing. I call my youngest child "baby boo"... that's as far as I'm going). They put on a happy face for pictures and act as though everything is perfect. Why do people think it's not okay to not be happy?? I blame Facebook. Social networking in it's entirety, really.  Our insatiable need to "keep up with the Joneses" is only magnified when we actually see Mr. and Mrs. Jones every day online, smiling, holding baby Jones next to their huge (of course REAL) Christmas tree... or when Mrs. Jones updates with a wall photo of the "beautiful flowers my boo had delivered... just because. <3 #luckiestgirlintheworld". Okay, so I'm hating. And admittedly I get a little (maybe a tad more than little) envious when I see these "perfect" people with their "perfect" lives... (and it's even MORE hilarious because two of my favorite people in the world really ARE the Joneses and they have no problems acknowledging their own- and eachother's- shortcomings). I digress. Many of us see these people and feel like we should be just as happy as they are. Don't we have the right?? Why should they be any happier than we are?? So, we lie. We smile and pose for the camera, exclaiming "PROFILE PIC!!" then update immediately. To show how happy we are, of course. We "check in" every where we go. To show we have a life, right? We write statuses about how much we love our parents, how children nowadays have it so easy, how our children are everything to us, how we have the best friends in the whole wide world, and how sad it is that -insert name of random celebrity- recently -got divorced, died, is back in rehab-. And I'm as guilty as anyone. The one thing I'm not gonna do- paint an unrealistic (not to mention untrue) perfect picture. It's okay to not be happy sometimes. That doesn't make you depressing. It makes you REAL. I love all three of my children so incredibly much. But sometimes being a stay at home mom will drive you up the wall. I "book face" so often because sometimes it seems like it's my only link to the outside world (hello out there....). I don't know what I want relationship-wise. I KNOW what's best for me. I know what I SHOULD do. I know what I would advise someone else to do, in my situation. But, that doesn't mean that I've yet found the strength in me to do anything about it. Because there's something in me that believes, not that you can change a person, but that there is true and genuine goodness in everyone and eventually, that goodness will overcome the bad... the hurtful... But, I could be wrong. And ya know what?? I'm no more unhappy than all 500-something "friends" of mine. (Well, I'm probably more miserable than Miss Happy-all-the-damned-time Crissy Megow... you want to hate her for having such a perfect life, but she's just completely un-hateable... so you just smile thinking about how happy you are FOR her and her husband... and their four children... for having eachother. It's beautiful.) But, here's the news flash: When Mrs. Jones posts pictures of those amazing flowers from her "boo"... it's because he's making up for never being home. She cries herself to sleep at night because she's alone. With the baby. All the time. He's never around. And he thinks the flowers can make up for it. They'll be divorced in 5 years time when he catches her running around with the pool boy (how cliche), and everyone will gawk in utter disbelief because "everything always seemed so perfect" and "they were always so happy"... Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe everyone else really is that happy. Maybe I'm in depresso-mode today. Eh. It is what it is. But this blog is gonna be real. Uncensored. (beware.) And if YOU are one of those seemingly happy people, but you really hate your life- I'm not saying you need to update your status to "My husband is a douchebag" or "I want to sell my children to the zoo" or "I hate my husband's ex wife!!"... I'm just saying, make the rest of us feel a little more normal and stop pretending like your life is something out of Ladies Home Journal or something. Thanks.