my surro journey {thus far}

so many of you have asked about surrogacy. i've posted a little about it here & there (on facebook, various blog posts, etc), but so many people have asked why i decided to do this and how i even got started. i've had numerous women approach me saying that they, too, have always considered being a surrogate but have no clue where to begin. so, this is my story. of course, every surrogate's story is different. but, this is mine.

i knew pretty close to ten years ago that i wanted to do this. i'm not even sure that i really knew, at that time, what all would be involved, but i knew that i enjoyed being pregnant (i was currently pregnant with my first child) and found it utterly ridiculous that *I*, an eighteen year old girl working at Hooters, was able to so easily get pregnant (despite even being on birth control that, yes, I took regularly) when so many women who did things "the right way" struggled with the exact same thing. why would God allow *me* to carry a child to term, yet millions of grown women suffer from infertility or the inability to maintain a healthy pregnancy. of course, i still don't know the answer to that question, but i feel it's similar to "why does Christina Aguilera have those killer pipes, yet so many people who want it just as badly (auditioning for American Idol & such) can't carry a tune to save their life??" i just don't know. it's a gift, maybe. and i'm of the mindset that a gift is useless if you can't share it. now, please don't get me wrong & think that i feel that anyone who doesn't choose to "share her uterus" is being selfish. absolutely not. there is a lot that goes into carrying a child for someone else- both physically and emotionally. but for ME, personally, i've just felt compelled for so long that this was kind of my calling- just something i was meant to do.

so, after a failed journey (that i will talk about in another post at another time) several years ago, i decided to try again. honestly, i had almost given up, but i knew that if i didn't do it, i would always regret it. so, i hopped on surromomsonline.com (will be referred to as SMO from this point on) which is an online community for egg donors, sperm donors, both traditional and gestational surrogates, and IPs (Intended Parents) in search of the same. there are a LOT of surrogacy agencies. i, personally, chose to not work with any for the main reason that i really wanted to develop a personal, intimate relationship with the IPs beforehand and i feel that, through the agencies, it's all so much more "clinical" and business-like. many surrogates choose to work with a clinic, as do many IPs, primarily because it does make it a bit easier. you have a middle man who basically does most of the leg-work and paper pushing for you. there is no cost to the surrogate either way, but with a clinic- they will pre-screen you (questionnaires), then you submit medical testing that is necessary (recent paps & other gynecological testing), then you complete a psychological evaluation and they proceed to "match" you with IPs. it is not necessary to have your own health insurance prior to becoming a surrogate, although it does make it much easier to be matched quickly, as that is a requirement for some IPs. another benefit to the agencies is that they already have a fee schedule in place. a first-time surrogate can expect anywhere from 18-25,000 (on average) as compensation for the pregnancy when going through an agency. there are also what are called "compassionate surrogacies" where a surrogate may choose to not ask a fee at all, and simply require that the medical costs be covered. there are also instances where an IP may want a surrogate to eat a certain way throughout the pregnancy, and in those cases usually the IP will provide enough compensation monthly to cover those eating habits. but, the agency covers all of that for both the surro and the IP. again, i chose to not go through a clinic, so i went to the "classifieds" at SMO and began replying to ads from couples and individuals that i felt i could help. i "talked" via email to many, many, many couples until i "met" adriana. somehow, i just knew she was "the one". we clicked instantly & when we spoke on the phone for the first time it was like talking to a girlfriend i had known for years.

at this point, as most of you know, i spent the entire day in jacksonville, fl yesterday for doctor visits. adriana and i both had our psychological evaluations (we both passed! wooohooo!!) and then we had to go to the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) for our physicals. during my exam they did what is called a "mock transfer" where they "transfer" a saline solution through the cervix and into the uterus just as they will later transfer the embryos. that is to make sure that my cervix is favorable for the procedure and that my uterus is in prime condition as well. unfortunately (and fortunately) the doctor did find some issues with me, health-wise. neither of these conditions will interfere with me being able to carry adriana's baby(ies), but they are issues that have to be dealt with. first, he pointed out to me that my ovaries are covered in cysts- a condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). thankfully, this is something that can be treated after delivery. it also explains many "issues" that i've had over the past few years, so i'm extremely thankful to finally KNOW what the problem is. the other issue he found is a polyp in my uterus. this can be a more serious problem, but we are confident that it is nothing and (again, thankfully) this is something that can be treated easily. within the next few weeks i will have surgery to remove the polyp in jacksonville and recovery will be a snap. there is no "downtime" that is necessary after the procedure before we can do the transfer so that is wonderful news!!! :)

i am MORE than happy to share any more information with anyone, so if you have any questions- please feel free to ask. you guys know i'm an open book. :) and, as always, i will update you all as things progress! :D