my baby

It's not even 6 a.m. yet and I've been up for more than 2 1/2 hours. Can't sleep. My baby has surgery tomorrow and his pre-op appointment is in just 4 hours. I'm already a nervous wreck.

He's my baby. Yes, I am aware that I have a son younger than Carter, but Carter was my baby longer than anyone else. He was my first son. The first person to show me the bond between a mother and her baby boy. The kid drives me BANANAS. But, he's mine. And I love him more than life. I wish with all of my heart that it could be me on that operating table. It's just a simple, routine tonsillectomy and he NEEDS it done. But I know he's going to hurt after, and that breaks my heart.

For the moment, he's excited. He knows he'll get lots of jello and ice cream and popsicles after. He also knows that he got to choose what we're eating for dinner tonight (fried chicken fingers and potato salad) and that Mr. Chad will be here. That makes him happy. He's a special little boy and I love him with my entire heart. I'm just ready for this to be over with so he can get "all better" already.