my soul mate

I know that, if you're reading this blog, you probably weren't in attendance at my Nana's memorial service last Sunday (January 27th, also my baby sister's birthday)... so you're probably a bit perplexed at the title of this particular blog post, most of you knowing full well that I am currently going through my SECOND divorce and that, for the past seven or so years, I haven't been the biggest believer in soul mates. However, that was only as a soul mate would apply to a person of the opposite sex that I wanted to grow old with and die with and would give my life for and read to every day from their personal journal should they develop Alzheimer's and not remember a thing... you know, the stuff Nicholas Sparks writes about. I didn't believe in all of that. In fact, just a few short months ago as Nana and I were riding around in the car probably going to walk around the mall or get some groceries... something we typically did at least once a week... I told her that, emotionally, I didn't NEED a man. That the only person in this world, other than my three children, that I felt like I NEEDED was her. That, when her time came, I just wanted to climb in the bed with her and fall asleep and when she took her last breath, so would I take mine. Because I couldn't imagine that I could wake up a single day without her being on this Earth with me. Three weeks later and every day is still a struggle. Going through her clothes, I just laid on top of them and breathed in her scent and cried like I had honestly never cried in my life. I pleaded with God to just let me be with her. Now- let's stop right there- before anyone thinks that I was (or am) suicidal... it wasn't like that. I'm a firm believer that if you kill yourself, you've just lost all rights to Heaven anyway. So taking my own life would not get me back in the arms of my best friend. Regardless, I didn't want to breathe any more if she couldn't. I didn't want my heart to beat if hers wasn't. Even as I type this, I just feel this incomprehensible NEED for her. I can't describe it at all.

When Nana was in the hospital, one night I was crying to my sister about it and she made the comment that Nana was my soul mate. And she was right. And I see her in every thing I do. I look to the left of my computer screen and I see a picture of my three children and myself from Easter. A picture that she took on the courthouse lawn in front of our church. Easter Sunday.... this is the first time that I've realized that I won't have her on Easter. A first for me. I won't have her to call to talk about how neither of us want to spend money on a special Easter dress... but how we look good in anything. ;) I sure do love that woman. Just one more thing, before I get to the pictures, that I'm going to miss about her: Starting when I was really young (probably 7 or so) after ballet or church, Nana would drive through Dairy Queen, get us each a dipped cone and we would just ride around town... making sure to go through all of the more wealthy neighborhoods and pick out houses. Then we would pick out something about each house that was the reason we weren't going to buy it. :) For example, that big house by the dam... Nana and I would "ooh" and "ahh" over it... then she would make a comment like "but look at that yard. There's just no need for that much yard" or "But it would be just about impossible for us to get out of this driveway when traffic is heavy" and I would counter with "Yeah, and I'll bet the bedrooms are so big- I would NEVER be able to get my room clean. We should probably just stay where we are." And it's funny that it seemed like just something fun to do at the time, but what it taught me is that there's always something to complain about. Even the people in those big, fancy houses have stuff to complain about. We had everything we needed in that double wide on Cedar Hill Drive.

Okay... on to the photos. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you- My Nana. My best friend. My soul mate.

Geraldine Shealey Scott
01-02-1940 -  01-11-2013

This is my favorite picture of Nana. Probably EVER.
It looks so "Gone with the Wind" to me. I even had it
blown up to an 11x14 and matted and framed to have
at her memorial service. It will be hanging in my home...
as soon as I can find a hammer. :/

I picked on Nana all the time for being such a nerd.
But, look at her!! Such a nerd!! :))

Nana and little baby Kayla. :) Probably getting me ready for church,
if I had to guess. 

My Nana was the ultimate "Lady". So classy. So elegant, always.
No doubt that is how she will be remembered- a classy woman of God.

Nana and Harley aka Joyce the Cat. :)
This was a phase Harley went through at 2 where I had to
draw a cat nose and whiskers on her every morning and
she told people her name was Joyce the Cat. :)

Nana and my Granddaddy. This has also always been one
of my favorite pictures. 

Nana used to make Nikki and I matching or coordinating outfits all the time.
This was for a family reunion. I'm assuming around July 4th...

Nana on the right, pregnant with my Daddy. Granddaddy in the middle.
And Nana has told me a million times who the chick on the left is and I still
don't remember. I'm going to name her Elouise. There. Aunt Lady Eloise. 

Such a Lady. A Nerdy Lady. <3

Nana, My brother Eric, and me. I love Nana's stirrup pants, Eric's
"bangs only" haircut, and my sweet purple umbros :)

Nana and Granddaddy as teenagers :) Young Love

Nana said this was probably her first and last time in a boat.
She despised the water. :) Here she is with Daddy and Aunt LaTressa.

With newborn Daddy :)

Car model?? lol

April 2009

Nana & Eric

This is how I will always remember her. 

Eric, Ally, Nana, Papa, Jamie, Nikki, Reuben, Me & Baby Harley

Aunt LaTressa, Nana, Granny Granny (Nana's Mama), and Nikki.
Nikki is the only one in this Four Generations photo that is still here. :(

Our Church Yearbook photo

Uncle Hollis, Nana, and Uncle Horace.
Two of Nana's three brothers. They've all passed now, as well.

Ally, Nana, sweet Mandi, Eric, Me, and Jamie.
Mandi was Eric's girlfriend at the time. She was killed in a car accident a few years ago.

Nana and the twins again.

Daddy walking Nana to the altar when she married Papa.

Granddaddy, Nana, and Daddy. I can see some of Granddaddy and Daddy
in Braydon. Especially that facial expression Granddaddy is making there. 

Nana and two of her sisters, Aunt Velma and Aunt Portia

How funny is this one?? And I guess that's where I get it from. 

Nana with two of her best friends. Carol Blow and Sue Henderson. 

Well, she just looks a little snotty here. ;)

WHO is that tiny after having a baby??? Just my Nana.
This is with my Aunt LaTressa. 

At a church Luau

Nana and Papa

with her first (and favorite) Grandbaby- ME. :)

Prom 1958 I want that dress. Bad. 

Before church one morning. I had to be 16 here.
I can only remember that because my boyfriend at the time

and his best friend came to town from Jesup for the weekend and
came to church with us that morning and we took several pictures. 

Nana and Granny Granny

with my granddaddy. 

Nana, Harley, Carter, and Anslie. :)
Harley was the only one "camera ready". Typical. :)

More nerdiness. :)

With my Matron of Honor (Nana) and Maid of Honor (Erin)
at my first wedding. Aaaand- I still had braces. *smh*

Nana at her first wedding. This is the only picture that exists from that day.
I love it. I think I'll have this one blown up, as well. 

Giving Carter a hair cut. :)

Oh yes. Fashion of the 90s. Gotta love the long, floral skirts... :)

A family reunion in the 70s. Nana is the one in the middle laughing.
Daddy is the one on bottom with the killer 'fro.

More of me & my Nana <3

WHY did it take two people to put my shoes on??
Surely I wasn't that difficult. Nana and Aunt Velma. <3

Granddaddy showing me the new baby. Not sure I liked Nana
holding Nikki. Not sure I even liked Nikki. ;) lol

Nana, Uncle Lamar, and Granny Granny. I'm sure they're all
up in Heaven having a grand old time. 

Aunt Jackie Faye (Nana's sister), Granny Granny, and Nana
at Nana & Papa's wedding. 

Nana loves me. <3

Nana and Granddaddy in the middle. 

Nana and Papa. And me over Nana's shoulder. And Mrs. Sheila over Papa's. lol

With Carter after another haircut. :)

What I would give to kiss that face again. 

I swear, looking at this picture, I could smell her and feel how soft her
skin was against my lips. I kissed her probably way too much.
But I'm so glad I did. 

Nana with Anslie. How beautiful are my niece's eyes??

With Carter before his first church service

Just a couple of weeks before she passed away.
We were leaving to go look at Christmas lights.

With her Mama.

At my first wedding. 

At Eric's first wedding. 

Taking Nikki and I to church. 

Easter Sunday 2007. I only know that because I was
VERY pregnant with Carter. I think he was born the next week. 

loving baby Anslie. 

so sassy. ;)

look how chubby I was?? But I still love this picture. <3

Nana- top center

All of the Rowell siblings:
Clockwise: Geraldine, Lamar, Hollis, Horace, Jackie Faye

Nana and all of her grandbabies:

Clockwise: Jamie, Eric, Allyson, Nana, Kayla, Nikki

My last picture with my best friend.
I miss you so much, Nana.
Every minute of every day.