mind ya beeswax, right??

so, with social networking and all it is soooo easy to jump on a bandwagon or follow certain trends. some times it's out of curiosity {like that stupid standing broom trick--- which will work any day of the year & has nothing to do with an equinox or planets aligning or anything like that}. some times it's political {rallying behind a specific presidential candidate and trying to persuade others to do the same}. some times it's about something going on in our world. Just one example {and I'm only using this because it's recent} the Kony 2012 videos, news reports, articles, etc. I love that social media puts things out there that many of us may not hear about otherwise. {my news comes from the E! network & I consider it completely legitimate, but I don't hear much about "real world" stuff} the frustrating part is that {as with most ways of obtaining information} you only get one side at a time. So, about the time you rally behind something & profess your unwaivering support {and I am HUGELY guilty of this, because I don't do my research on most things} you find {usually on Facebook} information from the other side. See, I don't have a problem with any of this: supporting something until you hear the other side, then saying "wait a minute, maybe I don't support this after all". in my opinion, it shows that you are willing to look at all sides & are able to admit that you may have been wrong. or that you still believe you were right. either way. but, so many times i read people commenting saying that we {America} basically need to mind our own beeswax and leave them {any place NOT America} to their own problems. now, i'm all for fixing our own problems. Lord knows we have our fair share. however, does that make it okay to not raise awareness or try to help those from other countries just because they aren't America? just because it doesn't directly affect us? i don't think so. i'm looking at it like this: i have problems in my own house. i do. i really do. but, if my neighbor {as in my next-door neighbor} was hungry and couldn't afford to eat, would i deny them food? would i turn the other cheek and say that i didn't need to be concerned with helping them because i had my own problems? would these same people be okay with that? would they tell me to mind my own beeswax and not try to fix anyone else's problems until i had all of my own taken care of? because, in that case, i may never have the opportunity to help anyone. i'm certain i will always have problems. on a slightly larger scale, take for instance the recent storms that passed through nearby communities, ripping through & leveling them to the ground. should those of us in surrounding areas ignore it because it doesn't directly affect us? should we say that they need to rely on people from their own area for support because we couldn't be bothered with it until people in our own community were completely without problems? because, again, no one would be helped. if that's okay, then where does it stop being okay? when we're talking on a state level? should Georgians not be willing to help Floridians? because that just sounds absurd. Regionally? Should the South and North be completely separate and refusing to help each other on anything? because, i remember {as a NATION} us pulling together after the attacks in New York City. After Hurricane Katrina. I remember other nations doing the same. even if it's just prayer- even if it's just awareness... every little bit counts. i'm a firm believer that "where two or more are gathered".... i just don't know where i'm supposed to stop caring. so, because we're talking about Uganda... or Australia... or Zimbabwe... or Afghanistan... or Taiwan.... I shouldn't care??? Because we {America} have problems of our own, right? that's the point that's being made? because it seems mighty pointless to me. we're supposed to be teaching our children to love & to be compassionate human beings and be accepting of people... but then by example we're teaching them that the only people we really have to help are those who are like us. those who we deem are "worthy" of our help because they were fortunate enough to be born into our country. i don't feel it's my place to say who should be helped or who shouldn't. if i knew that something was happening to my next-door neighbor and didn't say anything, that's no better or worse than knowing that something is happening across the world and not saying anything. i may not be able to do anything more than open my mouth, but if enough people open their mouths, eventually someone WILL be able to help.

....and just one last thing before i get off my soapbox.... most of the people that i've heard make comments like "lets fix the problems in our own country before we try helping others" aren't doing anything {to my knowledge} to "fix the problems in our own country". not volunteering, not taking in foster children, not doing much of anything except complain about people getting something for nothing and the poor being taken off the street (yes, the same people complaining about how we need to fix the problems in our own country are the same people complaining about Medicaid and birth control and other things that actually serve to help those in need in our country). okay, there. i'm done. for now. if this tells you anything about where i stand politically, or spiritually, fine. it wasn't my goal, but this was something that has been on my chest for several weeks (if not forever) now & since this is my blog, well, i can pretty much say what i wanna. you don't wanna read it? well, that's a-ok. you don't have to click the link. :)

love,

the one never incapable of minding her own beeswax,

kayla

where have i BEEN???

geez... i disappeared from the blogosphere for a minute.... {don't worry, i was still facebookin' it up} but for good reason. i've been one busy little mama recently. and sick. one busy little sicky mama. today is day #5 of this crud in my face and my chest, but i *am* feeling a teensy bit better... i feel about like i did on day #2... which was "like crap, but still functioning..." i just feel like i could use a good 15 hours of sleep & then i'd be back to normal {well, my version of normal, anyhow}... but, i have an 18 month old (as of tomorrow!!) and that means no sleepy time for the mommy.

other than wanting to shoot my face off, i've been keeping super busy with work. "work"... it seems odd to even call it that. don't get me wrong, there's a lot of actual work that goes into it, and when i calculate the actual amount of hours that i put into my sessions now (the research, prep work, the session itself, editing, and all of the other post-production stuff like creating slideshows & previewing with clients, ordering, etc) I probably actually make less per hour than i did at my very first job at a day care center (and those of you who have worked in day care facilities know just how little they pay).... but, that's not why i do it. i mean, yes, i want to be successful and self-sufficient and make money to help support my family... but i really love this. i am so proud of my last session because i can see just how much my work has improved. i look at things i was doing just a month or two ago & am so pleased with the amount of growth i've experienced as an artist already. i know i have a lot to learn & hopefully will *never* stop learning, but what i've had to accept is that i am me. my art is not unlike the rest of my life. i have to discover who kayla is as an artist (just as i had to discover who kayla was as a person... and that changes constantly) and just run with it. so what if my husband thinks it's too much light? i do what i like. and when potential clients see my work, if they love it- they will use me. if they don't love it- i will be more than happy (no sarcasm) to recommend someone who i think will better fit what they're looking for. because everyone deserves to have quality portraits that they can be proud of. and i don't want to stress myself out over worrying that i'm not going to please everyone. because i'm not going to be able to please everyone. and that's okay. i'm getting better (at life, as well... i think), and i'll keep on getting better.... and hopefully i will continue to love my "work" as much as i do now. i know i will.

the other thing that has kept me away from my blog is surrogacy. {heard that from me before?? yup, i'm at it again} actually, i've been looking into this again for several months. really, only jj knew that i was thinking about it so many months ago, but i pushed it off for a little while... then i found them. "the couple"... the ones that i just know i'm supposed to carry a baby for. i'm excited, and a little nervous, but this is going to be a wonderful journey. i'm not going to talk about that a lot on this blog, primarily because i have another blog devoted solely to that journey here. feel free to check that one out, as well. i really started that blog for the unborn baby and his/her parents. this way the mother can kind of experience this pregnancy vicariously through the blog, but also that the child can someday read exactly what thoughts & emotions went into bringing him/her into the world. no, i'm not pregnant yet. we just got the insurance stuff handled, and i will be travelling to florida in a couple of weeks for preliminary ultrasounds & we will possibly begin the procedure next month or the following month.

*deep sigh* whew. that's a lot. on top of being sick. and taking care of the wee one. hopefully i'll be well before girl's night on thursday. i desperately need a night out with my friends & this group of girls are definitely some of the best!!!

...just thought i'd let ya know i haven't given up on blogging altogether. did ya notice i was gone? ;)