what do i DO???

"what do you DO all day??"
I hear this question often.... ESPECIALLY from the self-proclaimed "Big Dog" (he hates when I start it with "self-proclaimed"... which is why I do. well, that and the fact that it's true... it really is self-proclaimed...) He comes home from work around 4 and if the house is out of order in the least (and to be completely honest- it usually is) he wants to know what I've been doing all day that has prevented me from having a tidy home & dinner on the table when he makes his grand entrance (at 4 in the afternoon. seriously.)... and, usually, I just point to my 15 month old & say "THAT. That's what I've been "doing all day"." to which he rolls his eyes. He honestly thinks he can do what I do. Now, don't get me wrong... I wouldn't trade this for the world. I *love* staying at home with my son. I love getting to play with him and teach him and love on him.... I love not having to sit in a boring office all day or talk to people that I don't like all day. I get to be with my baby. And I like him. What I don't like is having to ask for gas money or rely on friends to pay for my movie ticket if they want to hang out. That part blows. But I think that is more of a character flaw on his part and not really a representation of my "lack of employment". I'm employed, alright. By Braydon. Braydon Fisher, Inc. And I work lots and lots of overtime with no pay. But, again- not complaining. Just stating. So, for any of you who see me on Facebook alllll day or notice the 500 things I "pin" a day on Pinterest and think that I don't do anything but sit on the computer all day... I'll fill you in on just another day in the life of ME.

I woke up around 7:15 this morning, to the sounds of MonkeyMan coming through the monitor. (Let me preface this by saying that last night, when Brandon got in from a job in Columbus at 9:30, he wanted to wake Braydon up to play and I firmly told him that if he wanted to play with him I would be happy to let him get up with him in the morning and play all he wanted... and he said that he would. Of course, he decided that sleep sounded better once the time actually came...) So, I rub my eyes, turn the monitor off, throw on a pair of old, 5 sizes too large, grey sweatpants, a hoodie and my uggs and make the trek down the hallway into my little boy's room. He has (as usual) thrown every blanket out of his crib, as well as his pillow. (yes, my 1 year old has a full-sized pillow in his crib. don't ask me why.) He has peed through his diaper, so everything in his crib (including the baby, himself) is wet. So, I strip him down, throw all of the wetness into the wash, wipe him down with a warm, soapy rag, get him dressed (usually in another pair of footie pajamas if we aren't going anywhere... why not be comfy?) and take him to the bedroom to see his Daddy (who is still sound asleep). Daddy plays with him for all of 2 minutes before hopping in the shower, then gets dressed and heads out to work (not before complaining that he has no clean jeans... I mean, what do I do all day that keeps me from washing his jeans?? I explain that he had jeans in the armoire so I assumed he had plenty & that if those don't fit he needs to get rid of them because I have no way of knowing that he is out of clean pants for work.). While Daddy is in the shower, we are chilling out in the bed watching Mickey Mouse & once that episode is over, I put Baby Boo in his high chair & make him some cinnamon toast & chocolate milk (ovaltine... so yummy!!). Daddy leaves for work. While Bray eats his toast (and watches more Mickey) I fix a cup of coffee and sit at the computer to check Facebook/Pinterest. I thank my Mommy for the *wonderful* Christmas presents she sent with my brother yesterday (much-needed Tupperware & an owl hat for Braydon & a Pooh book) and change my profile picture... random FB stuff until Bray is done. Then I get him down, clean him up and crawl around on the floor and play "chase" with him until he is exhausted (usually only another 30 minutes or so), then I put him down for a nap. (Also while he was watching Mickey & eating toast I dried his bedding & put it back on his bed) While he takes a nap, I browse Pinterest for some inspiration for lunch using whatever I have on hand. I see some spaghetti thing with cream cheese & I remember that I have some in the fridge. I check the date on the cream cheese & it says  12/07/11... I wonder if that's the sell by date or the use by date??? Normally I am picky about "expired" foods... but it looks fine, smells fine & the tiny bit that I tasted seemed fine... so I do what any woman in my shoes would do (broke, desperate shoes)... I Googled it. Google said it was fine. So, I take the left-over spaghetti sauce out of the freezer, reheat it, add the cream cheese, cook the pasta, add it... DELISH!!! I eat a quick bowl before Braydon wakes up from his nap (musta smelled the yumminess coming from the kitchen...). I fix his bowl before grabbing him out of bed, change his "di-di", and put him in his high chair to feed himself (we're still working on this)... I take a couple of pictures of his royal cuteness eating lunch & upload to facebook (of course) and when he's almost done eating, he turns up his sippy cup and somehow pours tea all over himself & the floor. So, out of the highchair he comes. I take off his clothes and his diaper where he stands to prevent getting sticky tea all over the house and discover that he has pooped. Why didn't I smell that?? Why didn't he fuss? Who knows? Doesn't matter now. I wipe his bottom, take the poopy (still not stinky) diaper to the big trashcan outside) and put the little naked baby in the tub. Where he poops. Again. So, I take him out of the tub & put him on the potty where he is still pooping... when he's done, I close the lid & tell him to flush, which he does. I go into the laundry room to get the bleach so I can sanitize our pooped in tub & when I get back to the bathroom, the toilet is overflowing!!!! WHA???!!! I don't know how it happened. I don't know why it happened. All I know is that there was tiny baby poop floating at the tip-top  of my toilet surrounded by brown yucky water and my baby had backed up against the sink, probably thinking he was in trouble. He pointed to the toilet and said "top..." (meaning "stop") the toilet didn't listen. Not knowing what to do, I washed baby off in the sink, took him to the living room where I cleaned the high chair & strapped him back in it to watch Mickey so I could get to work in that bathroom. First I tried the plunger. No luck. I put on gloves and went to digging in the nastiness that was my toilet. No luck. All I can think is that he maybe put a toy in there and tried to flush & it's now stuck. I don't know. But, out of desperation, I grabbed an old tea pitcher and got every bit of water that I could out of the bowl & poured it out. Filled with Bleach. Flushed (still clogged.). Removed water AGAIN. Poured a little more bleach and closed the lid. My plan is that Brandon will come home and use it & think he clogged it. Then Braydon & I won't be in trouble. Good plan, I think. Anyway. So, once that is done, I return to the living room to clean up Bray's lunch mess. I'm feeling nauseated. Maybe from my lack of plumbing skills. Who knows. But, I put a t-shirt on my naked child who then grabs a candy cane off of the tree that is still in my living room... I'm too tired to fight him on it. I open it, he smiles and runs off. I sit down at the computer knowing full well what I want to write about today. That's when I see it... the clock in the bottom right corner of my monitor... it's only 1:30. ONE THIRTY??!!!! What the HELL??? I'm exhausted and still have another 4 or so hours of solo-duty (it's Friday. Daddy has to pay his workers.).... I need a nap and the baby is now covered in candy cane.