Dear Broken Hearted,

You're hurting. I get that. You've known him for so long... it seemed so right... how could it be over? Or maybe you just met her... even though it seemed like the two of you had been together forever... and now she's gone. How did that happen?? How did you get to this point where this person that, for a moment, had become your everything is now suddenly nothing? Maybe it was a big fall out... something happened. A lie. A fight. An infidelity. Or maybe it was little things that were adding up all along that you didn't see until you looked up and realized that they were done. They were already gone even though they were right in front of you. Or maybe it was neither of those. Maybe it was just a simple case of incompatibility. It doesn't matter. I mean, obviously, it matters. If it didn't matter you wouldn't be hurting. And you are. You feel like someone kicked you in the stomach. Like you want to throw up.
I'm not here to tell you that it's going to be okay (even though it will). I'm not going to fill you with tales of my own heartbreaks (they are too numerous to count). I'm not going to tell you that there are plenty of fish in the sea and that this one will someday just be a memory...  I mean, all of that is true; yes. But, I also know firsthand (and all too recently) that love doesn't care. It doesn't care that there are other men. It doesn't care that you should be over it because she obviously doesn't deserve someone who will give her everything that you would have. Love does not understand that someday you will wake up and just be okay. Because, honestly, you don't want to be okay. You just want him. You just want her. Despite *knowing* what is best for you... I think Collin Raye said it best when he said "It ain't the mind that calls the shots 'round here..." It's not. The heart wants what the heart wants. And right now your heart wants what's not necessarily good for it. It's a vicious cycle, really. Once you start thinking you're okay, something happens... they come back or reach out, or something reminds you of them... and you fall back into first this unrelenting hope. It just won't let go. You can't not think that maybe this time it will be different... and then, when it's not different at all, the pain. God, the pain. No, I'm not going to tell you to be strong. You don't have to be. I'm here to tell you that not only is what you're feeling a completely valid emotion... it's NECESSARY. You need to feel what you're feeling now and experience it in it's entirety in order to be okay. "Hide your crazy and start acting like a Lady?" No thanks. Let your crazy out if you have to. Do whatever it is that you have to do to feel better. You need to hurt like this. You need to feel it in every fiber of your being. You need to sob until your chest hurts and your eyes burn. You need to just experience it all. Because once you're over it, you'll know that you're truly over it. You will know that there are no left over emotions waiting to sneak up on you. You will be happy to move on.... or to be single. But the most important thing is- you'll be happy. And when someone shows you a picture on Facebook of him with his new girl, you can actually be happy for him. You can think about the happy memories without dwelling on them; without hurting. When someone tells you that she's with someone new, you can genuinely think to yourself "I hope he treats her right" without wishing that you could still be that someone.
And, let me tell you from experience, that makes it so worth just succumbing to the pain.