... today's thoughts...

"I write because I never know how I feel until I've read the words I've written." Or something like that. I don't remember the exact quote and quite frankly I'm too lazy to look it up (despite the fact that I found the quote last night on Pinterest and I currently have a Pinterest tab open in my browser). I like that. That's absolutely how it happens for me the majority of the time. See, I'm a planner- but I'm not. I like to have a plan. To know what's going to happen and when. I don't like for things to feel out of my control. Like, if someone says "I'm gonna swing by later"... well, WHEN later? Because to some people "later" might mean in 10-15 minutes (to me, that would be "a few"), but to others it would mean HOURS later, which would give me time to do more stuff. Or to come up with an excuse for why I can't have company. ("My mom won't let me have anyone over" no longer works. I'm the mom. The reality is- my apartment is a mess. That's it. Oh, and I would have to get dressed. And I'm probably still in my pajamas.) Or vacations. I like to know exactly where we're going in enough time to not have to stress last minute about details. Or with my business. When it comes to planning sessions, I like to know ahead of time exactly what my "vision" is for a certain session.
But, my writing is for me. For me, alone. If someone gets something out of it, I'm ecstatic. I love knowing that someone has read my blog (even if it's only one person) and can relate to something or is entertained by something. But, essentially, it's for me. And for my children and future grand-children. So they will know who I was as a person. But, I can't plan my writing. I over-analyze my words and take apart and rearrange posts until they are merely a shadow of what they once were. So, half the time when I write, I don't even know what I plan to write about. I just sit down at my computer and let my fingers go. There's something so therapeutic for me... the continuous click, click, clicking coming from the keyboard. The way my fingers know exactly what order to move in. Almost like a dance. That probably doesn't even make sense to many of you. But I think some other bloggers out there will get it. I don't have to worry too much about what I say, or for how long I say it. No one is paying me to write. It's not for a grade (however, I approached the majority of my college English writing assignments in the same way- waiting until the morning that a 5 page paper was due to even begin working on it, and making a perfect grade)...
Facebook asks me every day "What's on your mind?" but there just isn't enough space to write everything that's on my mind. Not usually, at least. Especially not lately. I mean, I *could* post a super-duper blog-post length status update, but no one would read it. And only a couple of people would "like" it. And I need that validation. That 15 people + "liking" my status lets me know that I'm cool. (JayKay, I know I'm cool)

But there is something that's on my mind right now. Like right this very minute. And, although I don't like to offend people, we all know that Kayla is pretty good at speaking her mind. I'm okay if we disagree on most issues. Gay marriage. Politics. Religion. To each his own. But this is something that is quite personal to me for several reasons and I'm not gonna sit back and shut up any more. If you are offended by my opinion on this, please feel free to not read my blog, defriend me on facebook, block me... whatever you feel necessary.  Because it's a big friggin deal to me.

Boys don't hit girls.

Period.

I really shouldn't even have to say more than that. But (betcha didn't see this coming) I will.
I was raised in a home where I was taught that boys shouldn't hit girls. My brother wasn't allowed to hit me (even though he did). My daddy didn't even spank me very often, come to think of it. Most of that kind of punishment was left to Mama. (As a Mama, I get it. I would rather spank my children that have my husband do it anyway... if I had one)

I'm not going to get into details over my last marriage, because (to be completely honest) at some point I would like to completely erase that part of my life from my memory. I'm usually all about "relish the past because it made you who you are"... but really, it made me scared. It made me not trust men. I no longer believe that any man is as amazing as they start out having you believe because at one point, THAT man was my "dream". I wasn't perfect. Oh, I was FAR from perfect. But I'm not here to "pull the wool over anyone's eyes". Those of you who know me know that I openly acknowledge my faults and flaws. But- WITH THAT BEING SAID- I don't believe that there is EVER a case where a man should hit a woman. Put his hands around her throat. Throw her down. Push her head into a wall. Point a gun or a knife at her so as to threaten her. I don't care what she does. NOW. *That being said as well*** I'm also well aware that  "bitches be cray". I got it. I know. I don't think that a man should just sit there and take it while a woman is wailing on him and being crazy and stabbing him or whatever. Hold her. Restrain her. You're probably stronger than her anyway. Get away from the situation. But it's just not right. PERIOD. She cheated on you? (Or you think she did?) Leave her. You don't need that anyway. But you don't touch her. She went crazy and called every girl in your phone and called you out on something? There are obviously some serious trust issues and you probably shouldn't be together anyway. She got in your face and said "Hit me. I dare you!" Don't. Just don't. (It's obviously a trap anyway) Boys don't hit girls. Men don't hit women.

AND THIS IS *REALLY* BAD... when people KNOW that a man has physically abused a woman and they come out and say "It's okay man, we all make mistakes. You're so strong for admitting it" No. It's NOT okay. You're still a douchebag who hit a woman. You are a wuss. I know a man who claims to be a bad ass. Thinks that people are scared of him. Thinks he holds some sort of power in this town. Yet the only people that I've seen be intimidated by him are women and children. Those are the only people I've ever seen him step up to. I have NEVER seen this man come toe to toe with another grown man. He's told MANY many stories. But nothing I've ever actually witnessed.

I can not IMAGINE a man ever putting his hands on my daughter. I can't imagine one of my boys putting his hands on a woman.

I don't get it. Do these men not have mothers?? Would they not care if their mothers were hit by a MAN?? (hm. Now that I think about it, two of the "men" I'm currently thinking about do have Mommy Issues... ) What about their daughters?? Their sisters??

I'm gonna step off my soapbox now. But, I'm gonna end by saying that if you or someone you know has been a victim of domestic violence, there ARE resources to help you. If you are in the Valdosta, GA area, you can go to valdostahaven.org or call the Haven at (229)242-1544